Today I said goodbye to my office, goodbye to my coworkers, goodbye to my seven years at Austine and goodbye to eleven years as an Audiologist. Although I made the decision months ago and have been anxiously awaiting today's arrival, it feels surprisingly strange and sad. I've said goodbye to several hundred people in the last couple months, some I've known for 7 years. I said goodbye to my old routine. I won't be stopping in to Mocha Joe's on a regular basis in the morning to start my day. For a while, as I'm figuring out what to do next, I won't be helping people in such a direct and tangible way and I wonder how that will affect me. The whole thing feels rather unreal and almost like heading into a grieving process to be honest. Maybe I am.
Two days ago our cat stopped eating, drinking and pooping. She replaced those activities with hiding under the bed, puking and losing her general joie de vivre. In four years I've never needed to take her to the vet. Today after I left work for the last time, I loaded her in a carrying case and my dad and I took her to the vet. I was so nervous about it. How would she act? Would she scratch and bite? Meow her head off? Shake and quiver? Well, she did some of those things, but was too sick to put up much resistance. I had to leave her there for testing and I.V. fluid replacement due to dehydration. I said goodbye and held back my tears as I returned to the waiting room with an empty cat carrier. You can't explain to a cat that you'll be back, that you're sorry it's scared and doesn't feel well. You can't be sure it knows how special it is in your life and that the house feels so empty without her presence. I can't wait until she's back.
Sunday I learned a new skill. Chain sawing. It's cool. I like the smell of the two cycle engine and the way the saw dust flies back as the blade slices through the wood. I like how it sounds when I increase and back off on the throttle. We're cutting back more unruly bushes tomorrow. I can't wait.
With lots of help from my Dad I now have a compost bin (which we built with entirely free materials from the remnant pile at the hardware store) and a clothesline. Tomorrow we're going to rent a power washer to blast the deck in preparation for a much needed paint job. I'm saying hello to my new free time this summer by getting dirty, sweaty and learning how to take care of our home. Not a bad way to start.
This entry was really, really bloggy. Sorry to those who hoped for something different. I needed to get this out of my system. I am also ready for something more "creative" here. Definitely. I will have lots of time to work on that. Can't wait.