Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Grocery Store Rant

A trip to the local Shaw's in Springfield tends to give me plenty of food for thought. (yuk, yuk, yuk..good one Jen). Over the past 5 years I've noticed the growth of the "greenhouse" department on the walkway just outside the doors. Each spring there seem to be more and more plants for sale along with all the trappings in which to plant them such as dirt, fertilizer and mulch. Things have really gotten out of hand though. On a special rack with three different shelves sit flashy, resealable heavy-duty plastic bags brightly designed and very stylish looking. They are sold as "Flower Cuisine", "Veggie Cuisine", and "Herb Cuisine". Even our fertilizer has lost touch with reality. Shit is still shit even when you call it gourmet shit. Unless of course this is all man-made shit. Then shit is really just chemicals. These days even our plants are too good for manure.

Then in the produce section tonight I did a double take. Kind of like the time I saw plastic 4-packs of peaches being marketed using Spongebob Squarepants' likeness on the lid. Today the head-shaking discovery was another plastic 4-pack with Grapples in them. The tag line said, "Looks like an apple, tastes like a grape!" This is supposed to be exciting? Or good? Or what? I don't get it. Are we living in some kind of cartoon? You want grapes? Buy friggin' grapes! You want apples? Buy some damn apples! You want Dr. Seuss? Go to the library!

And why does the "Organic" section of Shaw's insist on packaging almost everything organic in Styrofoam, netting & plastic wrap? I like to buy organic local vegetable when possible. This stuff? Forget it. It's so moronic it makes me crazy.

There. I'm done now. Deep breath in. Deep breath out. All better.

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